Offenses need to be forgiven quickly, or they will fester and poison the relationship. The poison seeps out and affects our own souls as well. Offenses that are held on to lead to death...The only way is love. Paul says, "love keeps no record of wrongs." In loving relationships, we want to throw away the list in our heads of wrongs done to us and ignore them when they raise their indictments yet again. Too often we keep those lists, ruminate on them, and nurse them like a wounded animal. -- John Eldredge
This is a tough one. To keep record of wrong gives me (us) feelings of power, or at least influence, over a situation in which we are powerless. It's that feeling of control that keeps me (us) from facing the disappointment in others, and more deeply in ourselves and our own neediness. This will eventually cause death and distance in our relationships. The real power is in love, forgiveness (even of wrongs perceived, not actually committed against us). It is in removing the obstacles to love and relationship. The thing we think we are controlling is the thing we'll lose without a pathway for love. Offenses, when held offer no outlet to loving relationship. And the thing we want to keep will wither and die.